Daughter of the Night

Some things are unavoidable. When I helped to unleash the Great Lord from his prison, I ended up with almost nothing. Lews had left me for Ilyena, Collam Daan and the Sharom had been destroyed-let alone V'saine itself-and the island of Shayol Ghul was now a wasteland not fit for anything to live in. I was without hope, without support, and without money. All I had were my wits, my beauty, and my skills with the One Power.

My first concern after I became strong enough to journey was finding some way to return to my former status. I had a small house, almost forgotten ever since I had accepted my position at Collam Daan and my relationship with Lews, which resided in the outskirts of my home city of Tanaeve. It had been my parents' estate before they both died, leaving me the sole heir. I hadn't been to the place in the five or so namedays which had passed after my family's demise.

And now, dressed in the same set of clothes she'd worn the day the Sharom had exploded, the prodigal daughter had returned to the only place she had left to go. Against my will, I added stubbornly. "Even dead, your stenches still cling to this place, my progenitors," I grumbled as I looked around with narrowed eyes.

My servants scurried around, casting nervous glances at me as they prepared the place for residence again. Some of those glances were duly noted as being hostile, and I calmly reasoned that any trouble they caused would earn them little more than a summary dismissal. I ordered my dinner to be brought to my chamber and went immediately to it. A hot bath was what I needed, and a change of clothes, then I could begin to think of how to regain all that I'd lost. "Including you, my love," I whispered as I undressed. "But first I must win back my power so I seem so much sweeter."

Yet, for all I'd done, it hadn't worked. Lews had been happy I'd survived the Drilling, but had remained firmly ensconsed in Ilyena's arms, proposing marriage to her. I'd heard the mutters and blatant accusations that I had been the one to blame for V'saine. I'd tried finding work in other research facilities only to discover my old colleagues had turned against me. I had become their scapegoat since Beidomon, the leader of the project, hadn't survived. As the next highest in the chain of command, I had then become the target for hatred.

I'd longed for the days when Lews had supported me. I'd finally used the very little money raising crops on my limited land gave me to survive on, loathing my fall from grace. It had been during these darkest of hours that I could recall the voice in my head as I had been recovering so many months prior.

"SERVE ME AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED," it had filled my mind painfully. "YOU WHO HAVE BEGUN TO RELEASE ME ONCE AGAIN."

I'd quailed at the beginning, I must admit it to myself if to no one else. "Who are you?" I'd asked timidly, my voice trembling. I'd known exactly who it had been when the phrase about release had been said, but I'd willed it to be a lie.

"I HAVE BEEN NAMED MANY THINGS. I AM SHAI'TAN, BUT YOU, MORTAL, SHALL NAME ME OTHERWISE."

I'd shuddered. "What are you?" I'd forced it out finally, determined not to show weakness even to this creature.

"I AM DARKNESS. I AM DEATH'S KEEPER. I AM THIS WORLD'S FUTURE."

The passages in that ancient tome, I'd realized with dawning apprehension. "You are the Great Lord of the Dark, then." My voice had steadied as my fear had trickled away. "Why should I serve you?"

"BECAUSE YOU WILL BE DESTROYED SHOULD YOU REFUSE. YOU SHALL HAVE ALL YOU DESIRE IF YOU ACCEPT." The voice paused. "ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU BRING ME MY ETERNAL ENEMY AS PAYMENT: THE ONE NOW CALLED LEWS THERIN TELAMON, DEAD OR ALIVE. I WOULD HAVE HIM SERVE ME."

I'd bitten my lip indecisively. The power this force had offered had been undeniably irresistable. But a stubborn part of me had demanded to know why I needed any aid in reclaiming my Dragon. It had insisted on repeating what I'd read about this Great Lord and His eternal struggle against His enemy, a struggle which, it had said, He would ultimately lose. If I could regain Lews and hold fast to him, I could have the same power offered to me by the Dark Lord and perhaps more.

But it doesn't hurt to cover all the choices, I'd amended silently.

Steeling myself, I'd answered in an iron voice, "I wish to think on this offer. My goal has been to stay close to Lews for a while now. Should I have him to bring to you, I will consider doing so. Until then I must attempt the reclaimation on my own."

The voice had chuckled sonorously. "FOOLISH CREATURE......." it had trailed off, then had become silent. I had felt an emptiness where it had been and had known it would not come again should I have called out to it.

"But you failed!" I hissed quietly as I stalked through my gardens, banishing the memories from my head. I had just returned from Lews' wedding to Ilyena, hoping that this last frantic attempt to convince Lews I loved him would work.

I snarled as I brushed at the dark red wine stain on the bodice of my white dress. "I curse you to the blackest future you can possibly exist in, Ilyena," I spat out venomously. "Denounce me as a whore, will you? Throw a drink into my face for saying he still loved me, will you?!"

And Lews had been no better. A tree exploded into fragments as I vented a bit on it. "Lews Therin," I promised icily to the air, "you will live to regret what you've done to me. And then I will have you as mine eternally."

I'd made up my mind about what I would do next. I was tired of being powerless, of being hated for no reason, of not having my only love. My fists clenched as I opened a gateway and Travelled, stepping out into the ruined land that once had been V'saine and Shayol Ghul. My boots crunched on the rocks and debris even as I beheld the craggy mountain which had been formed as the Great Lord had brushed the world. The rest of the area was almost cleared except for the few remnants of buildings and walls. "This is why I'm shunned," I raged, then laughed, low and cold. "Let them now fear me for a reason."

I could sense the Great Lord's presence clearly here. All the same, I touched the Bore, still fresh as the day I'd made it, and took a deep breath. "Shai'tan!" I shrieked with all my breath and soul and emotions.

I was rewarded with a terrible ripping pain in my head and watched as the world swam violently, then went utterly black as my consciousness faded.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I awoke slowly, still babbling, "I live to serve you, Master. I live to serve." Blinking in the dim red light of the oncoming evening, I felt countless aches all over me. Reaching out for saidar, I relished the feeling of warmth that flooded me.

Everything returned to my mind in a rush, suddenly, and I stood on shaky legs. I began to smile as I recalled my vows, then laughed with my head thrown back. Now would start the fulfillment of all my dreams. I had the World of Dreams, Tel'aran'rhiod, as my personal domain, and would soon serve as governor of my own lands. Already forces were gathering to wage war on Lews and his weak Aes Sedai, a title which I would never again call myself. Instead, I and the others who had sworn before me were named the Chosen of the Shadow. Some had already been renamed by their peers as Ishamael--Betrayer of Hope; Sammael--Destroyer of Hope; and the like. They would be no threats to me. But I had picked my own name. "Lanfear," I whispered in satisfaction. "Daughter of the Night." I stretched languidly, if carefully, and smirked. "Soon the world will know my vengeance. And soon you, great Dragon, will kneel at my feet and rule beside me." I brushed off my dress, thinking I needed a different cut and look to suit my new station, and touched the Power in order to Travel away and begin my new life.

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